The Top Ten Anime Babes of All Time page is proud to present
you with:
Welcome to the
TOP TEN ANIME SKANKS of ALL TIME!
Anime Babe (ah-knee' may bay'b):
[noun] A female from the
anime universe who possesses great beauty, a marvelous attitude,
and the ability to act upon her desires to acquire that which
she wants most (whatever that may be).
Anime Skank (ah-knee' may SKANK!): [noun] A female
from the anime universe who possesses the unprecedented ability
to make one cringe in their mere presence or solely at the mention
of their name. This cringing can be brought on by a number
of things including but not limited to: hideous laugh; annoying
habits; painful physical features; uncontrollable stupidity;
the denseness of hard lumber; powers beyond their incompetent
control; personality (or lack there of); bad attitudes; and the
thought that they are soooooo that when it is achingly
obvious that they are not.
[adjective] To be full
of "skanktitude" or "skankbility" (ex: Daaaaamn,
check out that anime skank
chick over there! What the hell's up with that?).
The Rules for Picking the Top Ten
Anime SKANKS of All Time:
- Rule Number One: Must
be made of ink and paint, yadda yadda yadda.
- Rule Number Two: Looks
have nothing to do with being a Skank. Skanks come in all sizes,
shapes and physical appearances (although one can be a
Skank for being horrendously ugly it is not the only qualification).
- Rule Number Three: They
must make anime viewers cringe with their mere presence or even
at the very hint of their existance (see definition above for
more info on how this is possible) or possibly fatally convulse
in horror.
Well, that's it. Only three rules for Skanks. You don't need
much more though, do you? I mean, you get the picture, right?
These uh, females (for lack of a better and more descriptive
term) of the anime universe are just plain skanky. So join us
for a shudder or full body convulsion or two as we take a stroll
down skankdom lane!
The roles of the Judges
There were only about 40 judges from the original
Top Ten Babes voting who we were able to get back in touch with
again without fear of death threats or lawsuits who then voted
for the Top Ten Anime Skanks of
All Time. The rest were concerned citizens who donated their
time and energy to warning the world of the skanktitudness that
was ravaging the anime community....... or something. And the
Mega-Playboy.
Each of the judges got to vote for as many Skanks
as they wanted to. Although not many wanted to think about them
for very long so they were only able to get out one or two names
before shivering and falling to the ground with fear and choking
on their own vomit. The judges also had to give adequate reason
why they made the choices that they did, but that was fairly
easy...... They're SKANKS!!!!!!!
The votes were then tallied up and a winner was quickly
decided. The judges were not feeling too well so we just let
them go home and made them watch some Tenchi Muyo and
Urusei Yatsura as a kind of animated chicken noodle soup.
A Quick Word From Our Judges
Before we get on with the countdown our judges
wanted you to know that these Skanks have nothing to do with
the Anti-Anime Babe. Women like Belldandy and such are
not Skanks. They do have redeeming qualities. They just aren't
"Babes".
A Skank is so much worse than just somebody who is
considered more "cute" than "hot".
These Skanks are painful. It is also recommended
that if you have a weak heart or you're pregnant that you click
away now! We can't be held
accountable for any mental or physical damage you sustain by
viewing this page.
It is also recommended that you only take one (or
two at the most) Skank(s) at a time. If you go too far too fast
you might hemorage to death or worse.
You have been warned.
Runners Up
And now it's time to introduce the runners up (in
no particular order). These Skanks came very close to making
the Top Ten, but for one reason or another they fell just shy
of placing in this very tough competion (tougher than we could
have thought!). Without further ado.....
Oh for crying out loud! I bet she's letting one
rip right now! |
Kotomi
Takanashi
I think you know
why. This, uh, chick from DNA^2 has all the bodily
control of a ninety-eight year old grandmother! Dear God!
She has the charm of a retarded baboon and she has the
grace of a fruit bat on crack (not to mention her main
problem, which if you don't know yet you'll have to check out
a DNA^2 page.... We just don't want to think about it
anymore.) |
Mihoshi (the TV Version)
Hmmmmmm, which block of wood is thicker: one of Ayeka's
Guardians or Mihoshi's head? I'd have to go with Mihoshi as did
a lot of the other judges.
She may be the ultimate blonde bombshell, but Washu-chan
must've performed some anti-evolution experiment or something
on this walking brick. Just looking at her picture now causes
brain cells to *pop* and/or float out one's ears... AAAAAARRRRRRRGH!
Make it stop!
Her total stupidity may have been forgivable if she
had any kind of personality to make up for it...... but she doesn't.
They should just let Ryoko kill her and be done with it. Damn
I feel sorry for Kiyone.
(Remember, this is not the sweet
and lovable "OAV Mihoshi", this is the ignorant and
moronic TV Mihoshi. Biiiiiiiig difference.) |
"Duh, which way did he go? Which way did
he go?" A little juvenile, maybe. But isn't Mihoshi? |
Whatta waste of space. |
Lufy
Okay, I must admit I initially didn't really have
anything against this one personally, but some psycho wrote in
and demanded that I make her a Top Ten Babe. So a couple of the
judges and I went out and rented the original Gall Force
just to see how "hot" she was. That was when we found
a new runner up for the Top Ten Skanks!
Every scene she was in made us either laugh, solemnly
shake our heads in disgust, or just lose our Taco Bell Gorditas
we had for lunch. Oye, what an afternoon! She almost ruined the
Ten Little Gall Force too. Geez whatta skank! |
And now it's time for the Top Ten Anime Skanks of All Time!
(Brace yourself.)
C-Ko
Legally brain dead, more
annoying than dog crap in your yard, able to make good girls
do bad and stupid things to be her friend (she must be a witch
too to cast such an evil spell) and one of the most un-cute or
unatractive being in the anime universe.... Need we say more.
She deserves the number ten spot (if not anything
higher). I think that we're all a little stupider for having
known her and her pathetic cries for attention and may God have
mercy on her soul. |
10
Dear Lord! She even has skanky breath! |
9
"Hey! I'm s'posed to be so #%*@ sweet that
I'll make you puke! Problem is I just make you puke." |
Chibi Usa
Like mother like daughter.
Only "mother" wasn't as wretchedly vexatious (look
it up) and didn't make you want to vote "Yes" so much
to support child abuse as "daughter". I mean, how many
of you wanted to slap the bejesus out of this little snot the
moment she showed up in SMR?..... See?
That pink hair has gotta go too. If only one of those
monsters of the week were a barber and shave her mishapen head
down to stubble, that might help.
Add to that the fact that she turned on her own mother
and friends and even tried to kill them (evil spell my ass!)
and you'll understand why she's the number nine Skank of All
Time. |
Princess Fatora
My my my. Where do we start
with this one? How about: She is often mistaken for a
man; she's flatter than Tokyo after Godzilla has dinner on it;
she hates animals; she hates men; she hates everybody around
her and seems to get herself kidnapped faster than a monkey snorting
crack causing her acquaintences to have to rescue her from those
gay looking Bugrom thingies that seem to totally plague El Hazard
worse than Moroboshi on Tomobiki-cho. It seems her skankiness
never ends.
I bet you're asking yourself right now "If someone
like Fatora is only number eight, who the hell is higher on the
list?" Man are you in for a rough ride. Chug some more Pepto
and hold your breath 'cause there's a lot more where this one
came from. |
8
Fatora or Makoto?
You know she'd hate you too if you ever met her.
Geez! She's even mean to animals! Whatta skankticious
feminist lesbo. (Not that there's anything wrong with lesbians,
just skanky feminist ones) |
7
.................Dear Kami-sama, save us all. |
Cologne
Our main question has always
been "How could such pure hideousness and maliciousness
spawn a great grand-daughter as fine as Xi'An Pu?" Cologne
could and has stopped many a clock yet she goes on thinking that
she still has all the goods (well, she did look shweet
when she was young, but that was a looooong time ago) that make
her descendant so fine.
Cologne is also too powerful and unstoppable for
her appearance. We thought it was an anime law that only attractive
anime females were allowed to have that much power at their disposal
(and if they ever actually were pretty, but got progresively
ugly that their strength and ability lessened along with their
beauty) . We were sadly mistaken. |
Nadia of Atlantis
You know we're getting serious
now when we pull out the big guns like this. Nadia has virtually
nothing (nada zip) going for her at all except for the fact that
she's in a helluva a kick ass show. She does try her best to
ruin it though just by being herself.
She treats those that may care for her like slime
and she's a vegan too (not that there's anything wrong with that
*snicker*, just that she takes it waaaaaay too far all the friggin'
time), not to mention that she doesn't have an original bone
in her body! Check out Nadia, and then see Sheeta and
Pazu's wonderful jewel journey to the land of her heritage (which
was made years before might we add).
They should've just made the Bluewater show about
Grandis and made everybody a helluva lot happier, well everybody
except la puta, Nadia. Why the hell did Jean and/or anybody else
let even one episode go by without slapping the lil' skank? I
mean, she even killed her father! *Urgch!* Oh... no! Stayed....
too long on Nadia.... gunna ralph! |
6
We told you she wasn't the least bit original!
She's ripping off Kimagure right now even! |
5
What a psycho hose beast! Well, half hose. |
Dilandau/Sereena
Psychotic (not in a good
way), vengeful (again, not in a good way), and neurotic way beyond
a fault. That just begins to describe our least favorite Zaibach
skank. She was even a man for a good portion of her life! Boy
oh boy, and I just got over the Crying Game too.
She/he's a psychopathic schizophrenic fecalphiliac
who needs some Prozac and a straight jacket... or simply an execution.
Whichever's cheaper. Not to mention that she/he's also the sister/brother
of Allen (the wussmaster) Schezar. That is one of the most screwed
up families I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
(Judges note: Even though Dilandau is half male, he/she/it
was originally and eventually a female. This is why Ran-chan
isn't elligible or he/she'd be number one) |
Yui and Miaka
Wow! A tie for number four.
These two skanks have virtually the same (skanktastic) attributes,
it was impossible to vote for one over the other. Both lust after
the closest man to them. Both then treat this man like slime
whenever he's stupid enough to take their advances seriously.
Both are gullible as hell and believe the dumbest things people
ever tell them. Yui's a nutcase and Miaka's the poster child
for gluttony. They do make a great pair, don't they?
They also both get in eachother's way and always
screw up the other's plans to either get home or kill the other.
How unfriendly-like (ruining the other's plans I mean). |
4
I don't even want to know what they're doing
here. |
3
*Gag!* Uh, I don't feel so good....... Ugh. |
Hikaru Hiyama
I don't think there's anyone
out there who never once wanted to beat the living s*** out of
this butch looking skank. As for her reasons for being number
3? Well, just check out Madoka on the Top Ten Anime Babes
page, read her reasons, and put the exact
opposite of that for Hikaru. Truly a skank among skanks.
I forget which page I read it on, but somebody else
put it best when they said "She looks like a monkey".
Yes, she truly does. |
Mai Shiranui
Oh - My - Gawd. Mai is skankiness
incarnate. It's a matter of too much "A" and waaaaay
too much "T".
The only people who like this jiggling mound of Jell-O
are horomonally overcharged pre-pubescent losers who are too
young to buy The Overfiend or La Blue Girl.
Stop writing in and demanding that this tower of
skanktiwonder be a Top Ten BABE.
It's just never going to happen. People would never trust Edward
Asner or John Bobbitt's taste in anime again if they ever voted
for the waste of paint that you see on the right. Mai is a skank.
End of story. She's not attractive in the least (silicone filled
garbage bags have less jiggle than this b****), she's always
getting into trouble like a Disney chick and she's almost as
dumb as TV's Mihoshi! All you Mai-lovers out there need to get
a freaking clue and some Stridex. I just wish that the artists
would finally get a clue themselves and go out and buy a bunch
of turpentine and dunk all the remaing cells that exist of this
skanky toon in one swift move... They would do the world a great
service. |
2
You really don't have to ask, do you? |
And the Number One Anime Skank of All Time Is:
1
Lynn Minmay!!!!!!!!
Damn you people are sooooooo
easy. I can't believe you fell for that again! Oh well, check
out below for the real number one Skank. |
Real #1
She's just too skanky for only one placement in the countdown. |
Mai Shiranui
That's right! You're
not seeing things! Mai is sooooooo damn skanky that she's number
one as well^_^ It was a tough call, but in the end we know we
did the right thing..... Now, we don't feel so good, so we're
gunna stop and watch some anime without any skanks in it. We
advise that you do the same. Or you can go on the the Pages of
Beauty: the Top Ten Anime Babes of All Time
and purge this evil page from your memory. Hurry! Don't look
back!!!!!!!! Trust me, it's for the best. |
And there it is. Now you know how we judge which girls are
the worst of the worst. We hope you didn't endure any lasting
scars and that you live a long skank-free life.
Now it's time to feast your eyes on the winners of the Ultimate
Tribute to Anime - Babedom. The
Top Ten Anime Babes of All Time!!!!!
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
1
Or go to
the Rules and Runners Up Page
|